is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
