You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
