at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
