I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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