he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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