he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
