AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
