dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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