yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
