Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The Olympian is in my bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
