laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
