just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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