It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
