Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
