in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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