i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
