can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
