Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
