i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont even know how to be here
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize