He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
