party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
