I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
