I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
