i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
