just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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