stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
