Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
