theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
