He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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