i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
