I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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