Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
