Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
