I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So many bounce houses so little time
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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