You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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