Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
