We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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