There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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