did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
