Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
