who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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