Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize