Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize