I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
