Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
