It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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