Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
