Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
