Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
