Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize