I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
