Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
