I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
