and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize