while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
