Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize