I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
