my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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