margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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